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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

In memory


Clearly, I've been away from this blog for a while.  Without question, this semester of the nursing program (Advanced Med-Surg) has been the hardest semester of school in my life...in fact, I think it's one of the hardest things period that I've ever done in my life.  I'm constantly up to my ears in paperwork, books, care plans, etc. so I apologize that my blog has been inactive lately.

However, I wanted to pay a visit here just to highlight a previous recipe from a couple years ago:  Scandinavian Almond Bars.

The reason why I wanted to re-share these cookies is because they were Grandma's favorite.  My grandma passed away yesterday morning.  I was in class, in the middle of taking an exam, when it happened.  8:45 am.

I didn't know until I finished my exam, and went to turn my phone back on and saw several missed calls and texts from my mom and sister.  I immediately knew why they were calling, but didn't really want to believe it until I heard their words.

My grandma had been in the hospital since last Thursday, when she recently fell and fractured her femur right above her knee.  They did not perform surgery because of her age (91) and the risk involved, so they provided local anesthesia to reset the bone and stabilized it with a brace to heal.  While she was there, her oxygen levels dropped, so they transferred her to ICU to monitor her O2 more carefully and give her oxygen supplementation with a breathing mask.  Her oxygen did rise back to normal levels, but the doctor reported that her lungs and kidneys were failing.  There was nothing more to be done at the hospital so on Sunday, they transferred her to the local rehab facility, for "comfort care."  As a nursing student, I knew what comfort care meant...

My sister and mom went to visit her that evening after her transfer and noticed her labored breathing and decreased level of consciousness.  I started thinking about plans to drive up to visit her at the rehab center this week, but unfortunately, she passed the next morning.  The nurses at the rehab center said she died peacefully in her sleep, without any suffering

It's almost unreal to think about her actually being gone, because she has been in and out of the hospital so many times in the last 5 years it almost seemed routine.  A visit to the hospital, followed by a month or so in the rehab center, and then back home...except this time she won't be home.

I have so many good memories of my grandma.  I feel as though my sister and I have had a closer relationship with our grandma than most people do.  We lived at our grandma's house for a period of time, during our childhood, and she ended up living with us in the more recent years.  She spent so much time with my sister and I growing up, taking us to and from school almost every day while my mom was at work.  Every day when we got out of school she was there sitting in the car or sitting in front of the school on the bench, with a comic book, toy, or candy for us.  She always took us to Home Video every Friday, the local video rental store, where we could pick out a video game or movie of our choosing.  Whenever we went to the mall, it was always my mom, sister, myself, and my grandma.  Sometimes after school, she'd take my sister and I to the local pizza buffet, and gave us a few quarters to play in the arcade.  All of our friends got to know my grandma because she was always there, and they always called her "Grandma" too.  I could go on and on about my grandma, but basically she spoiled us...in the best way, the way any grandparent should.
 
I'll be headed north next weekend to help my mom prepare for and to attend my grandma's memorial service.  While there, I am definitely making these almond bars.  I'll always think of my grandma whenever I make them because they were her favorite.


Click here for the recipe



I'll miss you, Grandma.